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Stepping In With Summer…(Some Are)

                          By Laura Vomvos

Summer has a whole new meaning to me as the kids grow older.  Summer seems to equate to “some are” because some are here, and some are there, infact with seven, they are everywhere.

 Having a big happy family in a stepfamily situation is something that takes time and effort. Once you reach that comfort zone it truly is family, and when anyone is missing, there’s a void.

Summer brings so many activites, outings, and planning with friends.  As our tribe grows older there is no such thing as fun for the whole family.  What is fun at age 21  is not the same if you’re 3.  Each child at their different stages and ages have their own set of friends and their own set of plans they wish to make.  Oddly enough, their parents aren’t part of those plans.

I’m sure many large families experience this, but I find it even more a challenge in a stepfamily.  For those of us that share our children, we are already scrambling to fill the gap in time spent together.  After all, joint custody means there is another parent looking to share that time as well.  We miss a few days a week as it is. So, as the invitations roll in and the plans are being made we realize - this is the age of letting go just a little of all we have grown accustom to.  Some are heading to the beach with friends, some are still attending the never ending graduation parties, some are going to the late night movies, others are attending wrestling camp, summer theatre,  spending time with boyfriends and girlfriends, or participating in the never ending pattern of baseball practices and games that exist with our gang.

There are nights I cook for the invisible group of nine, and there are nights I prepare nothing for the same tribe and they all show up.  While I fully enjoy summer it wouldn’t be truthful if I said that the control I usually feel in our daily routine isn’t missed.

While I embrace this time and season of the year, I want to send out the reminder that family comes first.  We need to continue to make the home the priority. So gang, here’s the deal;  I will not skip family dinner every night of the week.  AND, on the night that I get your full attention we WILL talk about your friends, we WILL talk about your plans, we WILL discuss our “high’s and our low’s” of the day…not because I’m a pest, or a facebook stalker of your privacy, or an invasion of your space...or a nosey overbearing parent, but simply because I’m you’re mom (or stepmom in some cases) and I love you.