steppingintoday.com

Stepping forward in 2010

I like to take time before the new year begins and reflect on what I have learned in the year prior. I ponder over things I can do differently and change positively in the New Year.  My big blended family had lots of growth this year, a few trials, a few challenges, a few wins and a few losses.  With each day we learn new insight into the lives of those we love, what we can bear, what we can’t, and how to put in place - and sometimes even remove, the boundaries we build around us. This year I have had to deal with obstacles that left me having to reaffirm my commitment to this column.  I’ve often said, “My family isn’t perfect, so why am I writing?” Then I realized, it is because we are not perfect that I do write.  It is for  all of those imperfect blended families that are struggling through this together. Those that have to deal with the off-balance life of  stepfamily.  Those that live sharing their lives with more than one parental viewpoint. The days when you think you should have put up some walls to better protect your feelings.  Days when you think you’ve put out far more than the job called for, and maybe in the wrong direction. Days when you emotionally go from being overjoyed to overspent, but must continue to keep it going.   Without taking you all through the perfect blend of chaos and love here is what I will share as my personal blended family lessons heading into 2010;

·        Loving someone doesn’t mean you are always going to love all their choices.  Love them anyway.

·        There is beauty in noise, because silence means absence.

·        Respect  and love for oneself and your spouse is the best gift you can give your children to witness.

·        How you treat others is reflective, it will be mirrored by your children.

·        A kiss is a just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, but they can tell and feel the difference.

·        Spending time with family must come before text messages, emails, and facebook.  Adding, in my opinion, you may not defriend your parent on Facebook.

·        Highs and Lows at the dinner table shall go on to annoy the children for the next decade, but you will keep communication open.

·        Family time is the most precious gift we can give to one another

·        Affection, Admiration, Thoughtfulness, Respect, Love, Loyalty and Friendship can be seen  and felt, far more than it can ever be heard.

Finally in closing, I want to share with all of you the definition of the word Step and how perfectly it fits into the realm of things. 

A Step is;

a movement made by lifting the foot and setting it down again in a new position, accompanied by a shifting of the weight of the body in the direction of the new position, as in walking, running, or dancing.

So for the New Year,  I wish all of you stepmoms, stepdads and stepsiblings the ability to make that movement of step in whatever direction needed to keep your family walking, running and dancing to the tune of its very own drum…as offbeat as we may be. 

Happy New Year.